After losing her husband, “Beatrice” turned to an online dating site for seniors during the COVID-19 pandemic. She quickly matched with and fell hard for a person she thought was a 66-year-old Spanish lumberjack who looked uncannily like her husband.
“I was missing not having him here to talk about, you know, what was going on in the world and everything,” Beatrice, who asked that her real name not be used, told Homeland Security Investigations (HSI). “So, somebody suggested to go online through a dating service… and this guy’s pictures show up and he’s just, you know, no George Clooney, nothing gorgeous, but in fact, he had a resemblance to my husband.”
The man spent about four months texting and calling the woman before he felt he had gained her trust – then, he began asking her to wire him money.
Beatrice isn’t alone. HSI said more than 70,000 people reported falling victim to romance scams in 2022, according to the Federal Trade Commission, with con artists taking on false identities and swindling smitten suitors out of their savings.
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Meanwhile, fewer couples are meeting through friends and in person, and at least 40% of them are meeting online, according to a Stanford University study.
Although all age groups are vulnerable to this type of fraud, older adults reported losing $240 million to romance scams in 2022, according to the Department of Homeland Security (DHS).
“Advising parents about romance scams can be particularly challenging for adult children,” data privacy expert Marva Bailer told Fox News Digital. “Often, parents become enamored with their online relationships, mistaking flattery and emotional connection for genuine affection. They may start by sending small amounts of money, believing they are helping a partner in need.
“As trust builds, these seemingly harmless gestures can escalate, and before they realize it, they are vulnerable to a significant financial loss. This emotional entanglement complicates the conversation, as children strive to protect their parents while navigating the delicate balance of respecting their autonomy and decisions.”
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U.S. authorities sometimes track scammers like these to West African countries like Ghana, where wire transfers from other countries increased from $500 million in 2010 to $4.6 billion in 2023, according to World Bank data. But these scammers can hail from anywhere and are notoriously difficult to track down once they have been found out.
Fox News Digital asked experts for common warning signs of these romance scams and how to protect yourself and your loved ones.
“The tactics employed by romance scammers may change over time, but their core strategy remains rooted in social engineering – manipulating and influencing people to gain their trust,” Bailer said. “It is human nature to seek connection and trust, a quality that scammers exploit mercilessly.”
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1. Look out for common romance scam warning signs in online relationships:
These are some common warning signs, according to the FBI and Federal Trade Commission:
- The individual claims they live, work or are traveling abroad
- Despite claiming to be proficient in English, the individual uses improper grammar
- The suitor claims to be significantly younger than you are
- The individual maintains a scant online presence, often claiming they are new to online dating and don’t have many photos of themselves to share
- The individual sends generic photos, indicating a luxurious lifestyle, that are often AI-generated
- The individual requests or sends explicit photos and videos
- The suitor talks about meeting soon, but always comes up with excuses not to do so, often at the last minute
- If the individual does accept a video call, it may be difficult to clearly see their face
- The individual wants to move conversation off dating platforms and onto services like WhatsApp or Telegram
- The individual quickly professes their love for you, or “love bombs” you
- The suitor asks if you have ever invested in online cryptocurrency or foreign markets, or sends links to cryptocurrency or foreign market trading platforms
- The suitor becomes combative or evasive when questioned about their authenticity
- The individual has a backstory that seems unbelievable or inconsistent
2. Limit what you reveal about yourself on dating sites and social media, and be suspicious of unsolicited messages and calls
Zarik Megerdichian, who pioneered biometric authentication technology Loop8, told Fox News Digital that “hackers know too much about us, thanks to the inordinate amount of data we share online” and that “bad actors can use our information to gain our trust and deceive us into disclosing more, including financial information.”
Consider using an alternate email when signing up for an online dating site, and even keeping your profile anonymous with a fake username.
Although romance scammers often use dating sites and apps, they have increasingly used social media to find targets, according to DHS. Using fake profiles, the scammer will strike up a conversation and start building a relationship. Once they’ve gained the social media user’s trust, they will make up a story, ask for money and vanish once the transaction is completed.
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Don’t send compromising pictures of yourself to anyone online, even if you think you know them personally – those photos can be used later as blackmail.
Be suspicious of any unsolicited emails, messages, texts or calls.
3. Approach online relationships slowly, and set up a phone call or video call early in the relationship
Before deepening a relationship with a person you have met online, ask to speak over the phone or via videochat.
“If they agree, check for strange effects like unnatural facial expressions or hair that doesn’t look real, as that could be an indication of a deepfake,” DHS writes on its website.
4. Do your own snooping – reverse image search their photos
Using Google Images, you can see if photos used on social media and on dating profiles appear elsewhere on the internet – oftentimes, “cat fishers” will use other individuals’ photos to lure in their victims.
You can right-click on an image, click “Copy,” then paste the image at images.google.com. Google can also help determine if AI was used to enhance the image.
5. Never give money to someone you haven’t met, especially online
Romance scammers take advantage of their victims’ good will, psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert told Fox News Digital.
“From a psychological perspective, emotional vulnerability is a huge factor in this as [elderly or vulnerable] populations might feel lonely, isolated or empty and are more likely to fall for such scams,” he said. “They are often exploited by the perpetrators as they are validated by them and get the attention they desire, albeit false.”
No matter how moved you are by your online paramour’s difficult situation, regardless of what they need money for, never send money to someone you have only met online or spoken to over the phone.
Instead, refer them to emergency services, their own families, or nonprofits.
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